Making Up Finally?
by RiyaneVerday
Summary: James Sirius Potter and Esmerelda Nott entered a nasty fight over Christmas Break. Is it time for them to make up?


James sat alone on the deck, with his feet dangling off the edge. His converse were to his right and he wouldn't look away from the black water. There were rumours flowing around the castle that Esmerelda was back. Almost immediately after he heard, James sent her an owl, asking if she'd meet him down at the lake. He was nervous. He missed her. He just wanted her to come back to his arms, and well, never leave.

Esmerelda had never been happier to be back at Hogwarts. The castle had always exuded a sense of comfort and homeliness that she missed was away, but her reason for missing it more this time was clear at the grin that had split her face when she'd seen the familiar scrawl on the parchment an owl had brought her a few minutes ago.

Now near the lake, she stifled a giggle at the sight of James soaking his poor feet in the freezing water with a rush of affection and quietly slipped in to do the same on his right side, waiting for him to speak first.

James sucked in a gasp of shock as Esmerelda sat next to him and dipped her feet into the freezing cold water. It took everything he had not to straddle her right there and beg for forgiveness.

So instead, James turned his face to Esmerelda and smiled lightly. "How's your mum?" It was the first thing that came to his mind.

Esmerelda looked up at him, fighting the urge to tackle him then and there until he forgot everything they'd said in the past and agreed to start over.

Instead, however, she nodded and said, "She's conscious and everything now. Er..how've you been?"

James shook his head, then turned so that he could took at her. She wouldn't meet his eyes, so he gently took is left hand and tilted her head do they made eye contact. "I've been miserable. I started smoking, I haven't stopped -I've made so many mistakes."

James cupped her face in his hands and sighed. "I need you. I- I love you."

Esmerelda sighed, leaning into his touch. "Don't. Not over me, James."

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she rested her forehead against his, deflating against him. "I missed this," she whispered. Looking into his eyes, she added, "You. I missed you. It's been a crazy past couple of weeks. Tell me about your mistakes? We can fix them."

James leaned away from Esmerelda and moved his hands into his hands into him lap. James stared at his lap, then looked back to her staring eyes. "Promise not to get mad?" James swallowed. He knew that even though he asked her not to get mad that she would. "Well there's the smoking. And the drinking. And I can't control my anger. I've already fought with Rose." James shook his head, "Dominique. Innocent Dominique has seen me wasted out of my mind…" James turned away and looked at the black water. "And, well, there's Katherine…"

Esmerelda smiled at James obvious nervousness and the first thing he said. "You know, love, that's just an invitation for Madame Fury to make an appearance, right?" Shaking her head, she shrugged and leaned back against the deck pole behind her. "Shit happens. It'll be okay though. We'll just have to distract you with better things."

She grinned crookedly for a second before his last sentence suddenly registered, making her grin vanish to be replaced by a confused frown. "Your…friend? Jordan? What about her?"

James frowned. "We- I- I slept with her." There. The words were out. James looked out to the horizon. His eyes were filling to the brim, but he quickly blinked the tears away. "We were drunk and, well, I took advantage."

James looked at Esmerelda. "If I could, I know I'd take it all back." James was miserable, but if this is what it took, this is what it took.

Esmerelda stared at James, mouth opening and closing in an expression that might have been comical in another situation, her brain refusing to process what she'd just been told. And yet, she certainly couldn't have thought it up herself, floating as it was through her mind in his miserable intonation. _I slept with her…slept with her..slept.._

"Are you _shitting _me?" were the first words out of her mouth, still frozen in shock. "Or is this your idea of a really, really BAD joke?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Do you honestly think I'm willing to joke about this? And risked getting my balls hexed off? Nu-no." James sighed and his face scrunched up. "I thought you should know."

Esmerelda frowned, looking at the lake. When she finally spoke, her voice was lower and thicker than normal, like she was trying to hold back tears. "I…Christ, James. I…I don't know. I just..Why?"

James grabbed her hands. "You have every right to be mad. Let me explain though." James swallowed and looked at the water again. He wasn't sure what he could say, but he needed to try.

"We were both miserable, and then we started drinking… One thing led to another, but it was me. I- ugh. I'm sorry." James' face scrunched up. He couldn't do this.

"Of course you are," Esmerelda commented dryly. Shaking her head, she looked down at their entwined hands with a pang of hurt and betrayal and sighed. "I guess I can partly blame myself for treating you shittily over break," she conceded. "But I still don't know how I feel about us now."

James' jaw dropped as the final words came out Esmerelda's mouth. "Please don't say that. Please." James knew how pathetic it sounded, him pleading for her to stay, but he'd never felt this way about anyone. Ever. No one but her. He needed her. Esmerelda was James' favourite part of himself.

Esmerelda finally looked up at James, steeling her resolve against the awful feeling when she looked at his expression. "I can't do this," she said. "Just.."

Esmerelda trailed off, looking anywhere but at James. Truth was, her favourite thig about him was his inherent goodness. No matter how much of a prat he was most of the time, James was the best thing in her life and it was killing her to see him hurt. "Give me a reason," she whispered. "One good reason I shouldn't hex the pants off you and leave right this second."

James looked at her for a moment, but only a moment before he knew exactly what he needed to say. James unlaced his fingers from hers and took her right hand and put her hand to the left side of his chest. Also instantly, James' heart began to race a mile a minute, for even the gentlest touch from Esmerelda drove him wild. "You feel that?" The question was rhetorical and Esmerelda knew it, so he continued to talk. "I didn't feel my heart beat once while you were gone. It was if I was a dead man walking. I need you. I need you like a starving man needs a loaf of bread. I fear if I lose you, and I know that you're gone forever, I'll be forever broken."

James shook his head. These next words were much harder for James to say. "I know you need me too. Maybe that why I've held on for so long." James pulled her other hand on top of his -which was already on top of hers- and place his left over hand on the top of the pile. "I need you. Please don't leave me. And if you can't stay for me, say for yourself."

Looking at her eyes, James held his breath a moment then sighed. "I don't think I love you." His face fell then he shook his head. "I'm in love with you. Forever and always, I will be."

Esmerelda sniffed to hold in the tears that threatened to fall with his heartfelt confession. Shaking her head, she gave him a half-hearted grin and said, "As long as we're on this page then, I might as well say this as well."

Looking down into her lap, she turned her hands in his to twine her fingers with his. "James Potter is worth everything to me. He's a wonderful person and one of the few I would trust with my life. Most importantly, he makes me laugh and live and love like I never have before. Yes, he's an idiot. Yes, he's a prat about 90% of the time. But then, whih boy his age isn't?"

Finally looking up, she continued, "You're the best thing that has happened to be in a very long time, possibly ever. You're the good that balances me out, the fun in my life, the one thing that keeps me going through everything. The past fortnight without you, it was hell, James. And I love that you feel strongly enough to make me stay because if you didn't stop me…well, I'm not sure I wouldn't stay with you for as long as I live regardless."

James smiled, just a teeny not even a half smile, then he practically mashed his face up against hers. He'd missed her so much, and to hear those words flow out of the lips of the one girl who knew which buttons to press and not to press, he just couldn't control himself any longer.

The only think that stopped them from flying off the dock and into the icy water below what James' hold on one of the boards of the dock. He'd forgotten that he was holding on top it in nervousness, but he was glad he did.

Her lips were so warm and, after gaining a little control over himself, he stood up -still kissing her of course- and scooped her up into his arms. He never wanted to leave this moment. Ever.

Esmerelda responded enthusiastically, wrapping her limbs around James with almost as much pent up emotion as him. She knew the mistakes he had made were no mere cup of tea and, deep down, it still hurt. Nevertheless, she was glad to be back and with him.

Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, she kissed him back, slipping her hands inside his collar to cup his neck until they were both short of breath.

James pulled away from their embrace with a huge grin on his face. He'd never been happier. Him and Esmerelda were happy -well as happy as they could be after all of this- and they were together. Removing her hands from his next, he put her hands in his and tilted his head to the side.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. And I promise that nothing will ever come between us. Ever again." James leaned in and placed his lips to her forehead, followed by her nose, and then her lips again. Everything would be normal -as normal as possible- now. James was ecstatic.

Esmerelda grinned at James, kissing the corner of his mouth one last time before releasing the death grip she had with her legs around him and hopping down. Leaning up, she pulled on their entwined hands to pull him closer and leaned her forehead against his.

"Don't do it again, okay?" she whispered, smiling. "I love you, you stupid prat."

James grinned at his beautiful Slytherin. "Okay." The word was flat but there was so much meaning behind it. He loved her, and he knew in his heart and his mind that he didn't want to lose her. She was his everything. It was insane, but it was completely one hundred percent the truth.

"I love you too, Elly." James smiled at the old nickname. He missed her, but she was back.


End file.
